My First Christmas

This is my first Christmas! I have been told that I should call it the "Holiday Season" or "Winter Solstice" for purposes of political correctness, whatever that may be. My mom and dad have been dressing me in seasonal wear and taking me to all sorts of new places with bright lights and indoor trees.

I went to Christmas in the Park in Downtown San Jose and was very enthralled with all the lights and trees and even the fake snow falling from the boxes attached to the light poles in the park. I got to "ride" around in my front pack as we walked through the downtown and the park. I like the front packs because I get to be close to mom or dad and I can see what is going on around me. They are also warm and snugly with the shared body heat.

I was very tired when we left the Park and immediately went to sleep in the car seat.

I also went to the bar with mom and dad to decorate the Bogart Christmas, er holiday, tree. It was fun being there as all the people seem to really like me and take turns holding me for mom and dad. I hung my first ornament (actually mom did it for me) on the tree! Later on, dad fed me a bottle and he and I took a nap. He is getting older and needs more sleep, kinda like I do!!

I hear my mom and dad talking about presents. They seem to think I need more things to do or play with. I understand needing clothes as I am growing like a little weed, or so I am told, but I have more than enough things to play with in my room that I have not even begun to enjoy.

My mom and dad sent pictures to the bars web mistress and she used them to make ads and to put on the home page. I am being exploited!!!

Mom and dad are crazy!!!

I Found My Toes and Pants on my Head!!

I just recently found my toes! This is incredibly exciting for me as to this point I had no idea they were even there. I know there was something down there, but I really had no interest in my feet and the associated digits connected to them.

I now can spend hours just staring, holding, squeezing, and otherwise being entertained by my own feet!

I can sit in my bouncy chair and play with them. I especially enjoy them in the bath, and afterward I can put them in my mouth. A neat trick that Dad says I won't always be able to accomplish. Both Mom and Dad really enjoy my fascination with my toes. I think they are more amused by my curiosity than am I.

I do have a possible cause for future psychotherapy as my Dad insists on putting items of clothing on my head. I don't know if this will result in some long term chemical dependency or manifest in some other abnormal or abhorrent behavior. So far it is seemingly innocent and does not bother me as my Dad gets incredibly giddy. My Mom however is either aghast or just repulsed by the notion, I am not certain yet.

Special Devices

The best part of being a baby these days is the special baby devices that my mom and dad have been tricked into buying so as to ease my introduction into the world.

There are a multitude of things I have at my disposal so as to be entertained, maintained, and educated. I am pictured here in my "bouncy chair". This is a chair that has a vibrating motor and various music to soothe and calm me. The vibrating part sometimes causes my butt to fall asleep, but otherwise is really rather comfortable.

I have an activity center, a tummy time mat, a crib mobile that plays music, a play pen, a changing table, a high-tech diaper pail, two car seats (one for mom and one for dad) and a whole lot of toys for age appropriate learning. There is a whole lot more stuff in my closet that even my mom and dad don't really know what it is or when I should be playing with these things.

I rather enjoy, however, just hanging out with my diaper head and being played with by my mom and dad. It is decidedly "low tech" but very satisfying.

Texas Family Visit

This is my Uncle Rich and his hottie Fiance, Kahra. I met them in Texas when my mom and I went there in October. I forgot to have dad complete this and send it out to you all to see. I really like my uncle Rich and he likes me too. He calls me Jake B, not Jakeb. Kahra is pretty and smells nice!!

Vacation Time

It's been a while since I have been able to get my dad or mom to update my blog as we all went on vacation. Not together, mind you, but all away from the house and computer all the same.

I got to take a plane ride to Houston with my mom and meet my Grandpa Frank/Larry/Whatever. Actually his given name is Frank, but he was introduced to my dad as Larry years ago. It is a long story, longer to tell than I have been alive. We spent a whole week in Texas.

I was a really good boy on the airplane. I did not cry or fuss at all. Several people told my mom how nice and well behaved I was for such a young traveler. Airplanes are actually kinda fun, if you have to travel anywhere that is.

Grandpa has all of the pictures of me and my family from this blog printed out and posted in his office at work. Apparently, I am a celebrity!! Who Knew!???! Grandpa likes to sing to me and I really like hanging out with him. He is cuddly and took really good care of me and my mom. He has neat friends too, Ron and Karen. Ron and my Granpa have been playing music together for a LONG time. Ron and Karen took us to dinner one night and gave me some neat clothes and playthings.

The rest of my family that lives in Texas came to visit me during my trip. I got to meet my Uncle Rich. He is really special too. He and I hung out and became friends. He has a nice fiance named Kahra, she is REALLY cute!! I also met my Great-Grandma, Mimi. She is grandpa Frank/Larry/Whatever's mother. She is a HUGE sports fan, especially the Houston Astro's and the old Houston Oilers. She and Grandpa now like the Texans. She said she would teach me all that she knows about sports. Right now I only really like to watch the colors on the TV or the overhead fan blades. I don't know an inside fastball from a dirty diaper.

While my mom and I were in Houston, my dad was in Colorado hunting for elk with his friends. He called me every night to say "hi" and talk to me and mom. It was kinda weird because I could hear him very well, but I couldn't see him. I really liked hearing from him though, he made me feel like he was there, but I still can't find him!!!

The rest of my family - Aunt Laura and Uncle Howard, Uncle Charles, Aunt Margarite and Uncle James, Cousin Shannon and her son Michael, Cousin Kyle and Ashley - had a party for my mom and me. We all went to Aunt Laura's house and had a great dinner (I didn't get to eat any cuz I have no teeth) and there was a cake for me with my name printed on it (also I didn't get any of that either). I really like my family. They were all very nice to me and I look forward to spending more time with them. My Grandpa may come to California to visit me for Christmas. That would be GREAT!!!!

I will have my mom and dad add pictures of the Texas visit to our photo album so you can see them later on. I do have a new picture of me in my A's baseball cap (that is my Dad and Mom's favorite team of all time.)

Stinky Feet!!

For the first time in my short little life, I wore shoes today. Mom dressed me in my Tigger Baseball outfit complete with my new shoes for a day with Dad and a trip to the Red Barn in Alameda.

The shoes are very soft soled little sneakers. They are very comfortable on my new feet. I wore them all day long with a pair of gym socks. When daddy took off my shoe tonight to get me ready for bed, my feet smelled like old gym socks!

My feet were sweaty too and my toes were wrinkled like little tiny raisins!
Daddy thought it was the neatest thing, that his little son would have stinky, gym sock smelling feet. Mommy thought (and still does think) that daddy has lost his ever-loving-mind!

Daddy actually sat there and smelled my feet and enjoyed the odor. I think my daddy is rather nutty myself. I just hope I don't end up too nutty later on in life.

My parents both are a little bonkers when in comes to my growing up. They seem to be really amused by the weirdest things!

We'll See......

Older Siblings

I have an older brother and sister. My brother Dylan is 19 and in college and my sister Shawna is 16 and in high school. They are really neat. I met my brother the day I was born, he came to meet me in the hospital. I met my sister a short while later.

I don't really talk to them, yet, but when I can I look forward to the opportunity to know them and learn what they know about things.

Dylan told my dad that when I am at that awkward, know-it-all, thirteen year old stage that I would be welcome at Dylan's house so he could help me become a good young man. I think I will like learning from my siblings. They have known my dad a lot longer than I have and will give me good information.

Both my brother and sister are VERY smart and VERY good looking too. Shawna lives with her mom, Teri, and is a Junior at Mitty High and Dylan lives in San Luis Obispo and is a Sophomore at Cuesta College. My brother likes to work out at the gym and is very strong. My sister is also athletic and is a coxswain in crew and is really dedicated to her sport. She might even go to college with an academic and atheletic scholarship. She is really pretty too!!

One day I will be big enough to go and hang out with my brother and sister and I know we will have fun and enjoy being a family!!

My Ebu and Bapak

Before my parents started this blog about my life, I met my mom's mom and pop, Ebu Stevie and Bapak Mike.

Ebu and Bapak are Indonesian names of endearment for parents and/or grandparents. My Ebu and Bapak were the first family members to meet me when I was born.

Ebu and Bapak lived in England until recently. Ebu flew over to meet me before I was actually meat and Bapak came to meet me just a few hours before I was born.

Ebu and Bapak are REALLY nice and very happy that I am here. I am Ebu's first grandbaby, and I am Bapak's second. Bapak has been at the birth of both of his grandbabies. Ebu and Bapak took lots of pictures of me and my mom while I was being born and stayed with me for a week before they had to leave.

Ebu came again to visit me a month after I was born. She smells really good with her special perfume. She also has a really comfy and nap-able chest. She calls my mommy and asks mommy to make me "squeak". That is her way of describing my talking.

They are moving from England to Dubai for Bapak's job. I hope to go to Dubai to see them at their house one day.

Bathes are Fun!!

I had another bath today. I like bath time. I get to be naked. I like naked time. I am completely free of my diapers, my onesies, and when I am done with the bath, I smell good!!

Mom is still a little scared of bath time as she thinks I will be slippery and squirm out of her protective grasp and end up on the floor.

Dad is pretty good with the bath thing, he gets the water just right, washes me, and dries me with my hooded towels. I don't have any bath toys to play with yet as I am only 3 months old. When I am older, I have some bathtubs toys and ducks already waiting for me.

Grand Parents

My dads parents, Grandma Charlotte and Grandpa Joe, came to visit me this last week. They are nice. Grandma has a chest like my mommy, very nap-able. She held me for a while and I fell asleep and it was a nice place to rest.



I live in Grandma and Grandpa's old house in San Jose now (my dad and mom are taking care of it for them). They have very busy lives and live in the desert, Oregon desert during the summer and California desert in the winter. They golf, vacation, do email, read the Wall Street Journal, watch alot of FOX Television, and listen to Rush Limbaugh. They are really neat and I like them.



Grandpa is a little more my age, mentally that is, as he will get down to my level to talk with me. I am told that I look like him too. I think it will be fun to play with him later on when I can walk and talk and what not. Grandpa has a neat smile!!

My Blog Name

It's time I tell you that "Happy Meat" is a nick name my big brother Dylan (aka Bugz) gave me. Mommy wanted to call my blog "The Jake B Page" in honor of my uncle Rich who calls me "Jake B" but she's a wuss and Daddy won out with "Happy Meat Adventure". So here we are.

Daddy writes most of my blogs for me as he loves to write but Mommy tells him of my adventures more often than not.
I wanted mommy to thank all who have wanted to keep up with my day to day poop schedule so...
THANK YOU! LOVE TO YOU ALL!

Daddy will write more soon I'm sure until then I'll be farting, eating (yum) smiling, cooing, pooping, and sleeping while you read about my adventures...

Breasts Confuse Me

My mom feeds me from her breasts. They are rather large and quite yummy. I understand this breast feeding thing is normal for babies of all mammals. I like it cuz I get to be held and talked to and can take my time and enjoy myself. I much prefer breasts over the latex nipple delivery system option.

I am confused though because I really can't tell the difference from one breast to another. I think that all breasts should be able to feed me as needed. Mom and dad have many friends with yummy sized breasts. I would really like it if those folks, women types that is, would either not tease me with their breasts or go ahead and get on with the feeding.


This whole breast confusion thing started from day one when my Auntie Cat and Uncle Mike came to visit me in the hospital. Auntie Cat is a hottie and rather well endowed. She holds me like a mom, she talks to me like a mom, she even coos at me and smells like a mom, so why no feeding like a mom?

I am not really concerned about missing a meal cuz all mom's big breasted friends give me back to mom when I start making noise about being hungry. I just wonder why they don't step up and take care of business like mom does!

Appendages

I am not exactly certain what I am supposed to do with my appendages. I have these hands and feet that are attached to my arms and legs, respectively. They are rather neat to have, or so I envision, as I see my mom and dad use them all the time.

Mom and dad seem to know how to control their hands to take care of me and do other non-essential tasks (anything that does not involve caring for me is non-essential). They use them all the time for things like changing my diaper and feeding me.

My hands seem to be uncontrollable as they kinda fling about without much purpose or use. I have recently been able to reduce the amount of times I randomly hit myself in the head. I still do once in a while, but I don't like it when dad copies me and laughs. I now can put them in my mouth. I have also learned how to grab fingers, necklaces, shirts, and random parts of my toys, especially my puppy.

My feet are another story. So far the only thing I seem to really be able to do is use them to check the contents of my dirty diaper. I am happiest when I put one or both of them into my poopy diapers. I laugh at dad when he has to clean the poop from my toes. It kinda tickles too.

Mom puts socks on my feet to keep them warm which I like very much when it is cold. However, I do not like them so much when it is warm out. I like to have my toes out in the breeze and also so I can put them in my diapers!!

Mom says that I have big hand and feet and will grow to be a tall boy!

My Friend Puppy

Other than my mom and dad, and my full time cat and part time dog, I have a puppy. It isn't really a puppy, it is a Lamaze plush toy that my mommy calls "puppy".

Puppy occupies my time when mom and dad can't. Puppy has crinkly ears and neat tactile sensory thingys that I really like. I like to lick puppy. I also like to cuddle with puppy, expecially in my car seat.

Puppy doesn't do much. He does not eat, and he does not cry, and he does not poop, and he is green. I like puppy but I am kinda suspicious of puppy.

My dad and I took puppy to the Red Barn in Alameda today. The Red Barn is my Aunt Jenny's house, previously my Great-Grand Nana's house. I like the Red Barn because it feels like family. Many of my family have pooped there. The Red Barn is really old, older than Grandma and Grandpa. It has been in my dad's family since it was built in 1909. Grandma was born into that house a long time ago.

My Grandpa Joe and Grandma Charlotte were there cleaning and working on the house. According to Grandpa, my Dad has to help take care of the house as my Aunt Jenny and Uncle David have moved away to another country called Canada. They have snow and something called Mounties in Canada. Grandma kinda smells like the Red Barn.

Grandpa fed me and tried to burp me. He means well but he is timid about burping. Mom and Dad thump me like a ripe melon in the field whereas Grandpa pats me like I'm full of nitro-glycerin. I think Grandpa is afraid he will hurt me. I like my Grandpa, he is cuddly.

I had a long day today and I am going to sleep with puppy now! I like to snore when I sleep. It is cute!!

I made my first etrade

My parents, god love them, have lost what little collective mind they have left and exposed me to the WWW in a darn blog.

Talk about pressure, I now have to come up with pithy commentary to accompany dopey, cute, embarrasing, photos in order to educate and entertain my family about the joy I experience with infant bowel movements, feeding at the breast of life, and lolling lazily in my battery operated bouncy (though not really bouncy ) chair.



My bio so far is;
I am only 2.5 months now, I am about 11-lbs and 2-feet, with a baby fuzz head-o-hair. I have no teeth but a great smile. I like to giggle, especially during diaper changings by dad and when my mom asks "whatchoo got fo momma?"
I have a part time dog and a full time cat and I own two really great parents, at least so far!

The things I did today included:
1) Slept, in my crib, in the parents crib, on mom, on Grandma Charlotte (no official cuddly cute type grandmotherly name applied to Charlotte at this time)
2) I ate, and do I mean ate. I eat like all the time, sometimes there is a milky white, smooth and neat smelling breast in my face, and sometimes there is a plastic, round, latex nipple delivery system from which I must eat.
3) Got a real kick in the pants when I pooped for mom. Stem to Stern, full monty, double wet-wipe clean-up on aisle 2 kinda job.
4) Startled awake when dad burped.
5) Farted on Grandpa Joe when he fed me with a latex nipple delivery system device.

There is lots more, but I have to burp and go to bed now cuz Mom's tired and needs some sleep too.